The Genre Competition' ENTRY - Seeking Solace
by dontbeupsettihavespaghetti
Summary: Neville Longbottom has always admired Hermione Granger, his hopes of ever being in her life more than a friend are crushed, heartache never hurt so much. (set just after Battle of Hogwarts) ONESHOT


A/N: This is my entry to the Genre Competition run by thegoodgirldoll… I hope I did good, this is my first competition entry haha o.o and sorry it's so short, didn't dare try the second option of writing multi-chapters for it! XD

* * *

**Neville Longbottom - Seeking Solace**

The war is over.

Voldemort is dead.

Neville Longbottom watches as the sun rises above the Forbidden Forest, the tendrils of light touching the battlefield, shadows banishing from the grounds. Neville feels a little lighter from the sight, but his heart is still heavy. No amount of sun could rid him of the memories of the bloody and long battle, hours of death and murder, he could never forget the blank, glassy eyes of his dead comrades, of people he once knew and loved.

_You should be used to that by now, _he thinks, grim memories of his parents entering his mind, who despite being alive in body… would never be _truly alive_. Neville knows much worse than death, but that thought still doesn't help his heavy heart and tortured mind.

At least that woman who caused him such pain in his life is dead and gone, dying by the hands of Molly Weasley. These thoughts still don't help him however.

"Neville…?" A comforting and feminine voice calls, breaking Neville out of his thoughts, the dark-haired boy turning to face Hermione Granger, who looks dirty, ragged and ever so bloodied.

Despite her appearance, Neville thinks she is still the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. He tries not to get caught in her eyes, which once were ever so bright, but now had a dull look to them.

"Y-yes?" Neville answers, trying his best not to stutter and tumble over his words, and feeling stupid as only half an hour ago he killed a snake, not just any snake, Lord Voldemort's snake!

"Do you want to come back to the Great Hall?" Hermione asks, placing a comforting and warm hand on Neville's shoulder. "You shouldn't be alone…"

"No… it's fine," Neville says, rejecting the beautiful brunette's offer, cringing at the thought of many students swarming him, now he knows how Harry feels. "I really need to be alone now…"

Hermione nods, understanding completely. Neville has the biggest urge to admit his feelings, but before he can say anything, Ron Weasley appears, looking just as ragged as Hermione.

"Hermione!" He says, sounding relieved. To Neville's horror, Hermione's whole face brightens up; even the dullness in her eyes' seems to disappear. "There you are…"

Hermione and Ron embrace, Neville forces himself to look away, to stop his heart breaking any further. Despite seeing the two kiss earlier, after the battle ended, Neville still had a quite childish hope that his feelings could be returned. But obviously not, from the way his two friends hugged so passionately.

Neville admits to himself the two are a perfect match.

"Oh hey Neville…" Ron greets him, sending him a lopsided but not entirely full smile, Neville only partially grunting in reply. "Uhm… want to come back into the Castle with us?"

"No thanks…" I say, looking to my feet. "You two go back, I'll be okay…"

The two accept his answer and walk off, Hermione sending him a pitying look. Neville turns around, gripping the stone bridge wall tightly, his eyes feeling too watery for comfort.

The sun has risen fully, but Neville can no longer feel the warmth, all he can feel is the cool and stinging tears. Neville cries, over lost love, lost friends, over everything that went wrong in his life.

Hermione will be happy; Neville has no doubt about it. Ron is a good person, he will treat her well, and they will probably get married and have a few ginger-haired kids, move on with their lives and have a happy ending. Hermione will be happy… but not with him.

It may be selfish, and it is… but Neville wishes he was the one to be with Hermione in this past year, for him to be the one Hermione loves. But he knows, deep down, that Hermione and Ron were meant to be, they were literally soul mates, and no one could deny that. Not even Neville.

At these thoughts, Neville lets his eyes run, ugly sounding sobs ripping from his throat. Neville stands there, for seemingly hours (but in reality minutes), Neville stands there, on the half broken bridge, crying his eyes out, mourning over dead futures and friends, over 'what-ifs'.

"I suppose I'll have my imagination to keep me company…" Neville whispers out loud, trying to convince himself that imagining Hermione would be enough. _Perhaps it will_, he thinks, staring at the too bright sky.

Neville would have to get over this.

He sure as hell will try.

Turning around with sudden confidence, Neville heads back towards the Castle. Wiping his face, Neville determines to get over Hermione Granger, and it won't be easy.

But life is never easy, and hell, Neville has been through worse!

_I'll survive,_ he thinks, heading towards Hogwarts Castle, _I always do somehow… _

…_and I wonder what Luna is up to now._


End file.
